John Edward Koch was affectionately referred to as Junior, Dad, Ed but to me, and maybe everyone near the end, was poppa.
My poppa died in his sleep peacefully on Monday night surrounded by people who loved him and who were devoted to him. The last years of my poppas life were far from the best, but I think we all believe that he was as happy and comfortable as he could be. Alzheimer's is a disease that destroys a person inside and out. In the end it robbed poppa of his memories and his functions, and a peaceful death was the best any of us could hope for. Poppa had been sick for so long, that this wasn't entirely unexpected, but Alzheimer's is a slowly rising tide not a fast moving tornado. We all hoped poppa would be around for a long time, maybe even forever, but of course that's unfair to poppa and the man he would want to be remembered as.
I was raised by my grandparents from a young age. When poppa retired from the navy, he coached football at Orange park high school. Some of my earliest memories are sitting on those bleachers with him on a cold fall evening watching the games. In my earliest years, poppa stayed home and watched my sister and I while grandma was at work. This meant Poppa, who was the manliest of men, was left to care for two little girls. He did the best he knew how, and it turned out his best was more than enough. Poppa could make a mean pony tail, but he never mastered braiding hair. Then at night, he would tell us scary stories that always started "it was a dark and stormy night..." But that was as far as they ever got because my sister was too afraid and made him stop. I remember being rocked to sleep in an old red rocking chair by poppa, who knew no lullabies, and would sing bye-o-baby, bye-o-baby rhythmically until I fell asleep. I can still remember the sound of his voice.
Poppa dressed up like Santa clause for us, and visited the house after going to the grocery store to buy some ham for sandwiches. Every year we needed ham, even if we had a fridge full of it. I never doubted that Santa clause was real. At Easter, poppa has a special stuffed rabbit that he would pet and whisper in his ear and the rabbit laid eggs! Sometimes they were the eggs that we had painted earlier in the day! It was pure magic, and I never figured out how he did it.
In the sweltering Florida summers, poppa was the king of good times. He took my sister and I to the beach and we built sandcastles and swam in the ocean. He'd gather all the neighborhood kids together and he'd take us to the pool on base. He'd wait while we swam and rode the giant water slide, then he'd buy us all a slurped or an icee, which he loved but couldn't have anymore because of his diabetes. I don't remember poppa ever apologizing when we got into a fight, but I do remember him bringing me home an icee as a peace offering.
He came to all my basketball games and all my volleyball games even though I wasn't very good. When it got below freezing, a rare treat in Florida, poppa would turn on the sprinkler and the next morning we had a winter wonderland where the water turned icicles on the grass. Poppa had the best lawn and garden in our neighborhood. We had the neatest, greenest grass out of anyone. We ate warm blackberries and juicy tomatoes from his garden. We picked oranges and juiced them in the winter. Poppa bought us an above ground pool and a giant trampoline and spoiled us silly, just like a grandfather should.
Poppa loved to go fishing, and he brought us along sometimes. We went to a catfish farm once, where you were all but guaranteed to catch something. And I caught several big catfish, but killing them hurt my feelings so I wanted to throw them all back. Poppa wasn't happy about it, but he threw them back for me anyway.
Poppa did the grocery shopping in my house. He'd spend hours in the crowded commissary or meandering through SAMs club tasting samples. He'd eat grapes, or cherry tomatoes or peanuts or whatever there was straight from the baskets before buying them. Sometimes I'd miss school so I could go with him and he'd buy me whatever I wanted. We always sat and had a big turkey sandwich in the deli before going home.
I knew that when I came to Korea I might not get to see poppa again. I tried to prepare for the possibility, I said goodbye before I left. I don't think There was anything I could do to prepare myself enough. I'll be flying home soon so I can say goodbye. Poppa, you were there for me when you didn't have to be. You made sure I always felt loved and cared for. You gave me the golden years of your life and I'll never forget you.
I asked grandma to send me a picture of herself and poppa in May, I believe this may be one of the last photos ever taken of him.
